


What Makes A Man

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M, Partnership
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-06
Updated: 2012-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-29 01:06:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A man is made by his past and the people in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Makes A Man

**Author's Note:**

> First place in the 2007 Zebra Con writing contest.

Bodie was a stone cold killer.

His psychological profile labelled him "disconnected" and "remote." George Cowley simply called him effective. Bodie was everything the Queen's own could want in a soldier. He followed orders without question and was never bothered by those pesky moral dilemmas that plagued Ray Doyle.

One might wonder what kind of childhood shapes a boy to grow into a stone cold killer. Perhaps a horrific childhood filled with abuse, humiliation and pain? Something terrible enough to drive Bodie to run away and lie about his age to join the Merchant Navy? A childhood so disturbing that a life as a mercenary seemed like a viable option?

But William Andrew Philip Bodie's childhood was anything but extraordinary. In fact, it lacked any sort of controversy. It was so painfully and unequivocally ordinary that it drove Bodie to distraction. His mother never yelled at him no matter what he did. He was fed, had clothes on his back and a good education, but she barely acknowledged his existence.

Bodie's mother was the perfect example of how anyone could change their life if they only tried hard enough and she never let her son forget it. Bodie had been born out of wedlock when she was young and thought she was in love. But finding herself unmarried and alone, she buckled down. She got a job, a cramped cheap flat and left Bodie in the care of the landlady while she worked long days in a shop. By the time she was twenty-two years old, Bodie's mother had found the respect of dating a young man from a good middle class family who was willing to overlook her little indiscretion. A man willing to give Bodie his name, even though Bodie would eventually discard it to embrace the bastard’s name he was born with.

Imagine if you lived in a house where people looked through you. Where neither your accomplishments or mistakes were acknowledged. Where the only smile on your mother's face was for her husband or her other children. The children who didn't remind her of her youthful mistake or her lower class roots.

Bodie's childhood was spent living like a ghost. His mother hadn't even cared enough to hate him.

So apathy shaped Bodie into the man he grew to be. It pushed him to learn that the only person he could trust was himself. To look out for himself and only himself. To reject the family he wasn't a part of and even the surname they gave him. To believe that neither security, nor comfort, could be found with a woman.

And so Bodie lived his adult life in apathy. Finding thrills in pushing the boundaries of acceptable society. Finding a purpose and acceptance only in violence.

And then he was partnered with Ray Doyle. A man who didn't respect any sort of personal boundaries. A passionate and intense man who infuriated Bodie out of his apathy. A man who made him want things he was afraid to admit. And Bodie hated fear.

++++++

"I'll never get the blood out of this." Bodie peeled off his suit jacket with a look of distaste, dropping it onto one of Ray's chairs.

"Serves you right for spending too much on it anyways." Ray closed the door to his flat behind him. He secured the deadbolts only after doing a quick scan of the main room. Bodie was already checking the bathroom and kitchen with his usual playful flair. He picked up one of Ray’s frying pans and wielded it against an imaginary opponent, swatting at air.

"Can't skimp when you dress perfection," Bodie said with a smirk and set down the pan. "I just bought that one, too."

Ray visibly relaxed after they swept the flat. It was protocol and just common sense when you worked in their business. He unbuckled his shoulder harness, but left it hanging on his slender frame. "Just dressed to impress so you could get a leg over..."

"Well, can you blame me, mate?" Bodie asked and made a lewd gesture with his hands. "Didn't you get a looksee at tonight's conquest?"

They had been out at their favourite pub chatting up a few birds when their RTs went off. "You mean tonight's failure?"

"Not my fault the Cow called us just as I was starting to..."

Ray gifted Bodie with a chip toothed grin. "Put your foot in your mouth?"

"Now, Raymond, I will have you know I was bowling her over with the trademark Bodie charm..."

Ray leaned over the counter and repositioned an apple in his fruit bowl. It was starting to go soft since he hadn’t been around to toss it. "Oh, you didn't mention she was deaf 'n' dumb..."

Bodie smacked Ray's shoulder. "You wound me. I have my pride."

"Since when?"

Bodie seemed to ponder this comment with pursed lips. "I have standards..."

"Low standards," Ray quipped and undid a button on his shirt even though the first two buttons were already undone.

Bodie tapped a finger on his chin, continuing the charade. "Low standards are still standards."

"So, you're an oversexed fiend with low standards."

Now it was Bodie who grinned. "That sounds about right, but any way you look at it... I'm a legend."

The back and forth game continued as they wound down from the case. "A legend in your own mind."

"I do try." Bodie had made his way over to Ray's fridge and made a disappointed sound when he opened it. "What happened to that..."

"You ate it."

Bodie moved around some of the half empty sauce bottles. "And the..."

"You ate that, too." Ray opened one of his cupboards and pulled out a packet of crisps he kept hidden. He tossed the crisps across the counter towards Bodie. "I can't be bothered to make anything decent tonight. You want takeaway?'

With a sigh Bodie gave up and closed the fridge. He opened the bag of crisps and popped a handful into his mouth, crunching noisily. "Oh my, you are feeling generous tonight, sunshine."

Ray sauntered over to Bodie and poked him in the belly. "Not generous enough to pay for it. You're going halfers."

"How about I owe you?"

"You still owe me from a fortnight ago. And three days ago... and this mornin'."

Bodie left a trail of crumbs at his feet as he ate the crisps. "Mmm, put it on my tab then."

"I should make you pay for it all," Ray grumbled. He plucked a crisp from the bag and popped it in his mouth.

"You could..." Bodie mused. When Ray reached for another crisp, Bodie stole it right out of Ray's grasp. "But you won't."

"Cocky bastard," Ray complained with affection. He was close enough that he reached out and prodded at the blood stain marring Bodie's once impeccable shirt. "Glad this blood isn’t yours. This won't come out."

Bodie looked down and made a tsking noise. "Another shirt ruined."

"Not ruined, just..."

"It's ruined," Bodie insisted. Unless a case called for it, Bodie was fussy about his clothing. Ray could just imagine the holy terror he must have been for his SAS men when it came to their uniforms.

"You could change into one of your shirts in my wardrobe,” Ray suggested, but Bodie just shrugged his shoulders.

The only reason the shirts were hanging in his wardrobe and not stuffed into one of his drawers was because Bodie had hung them up there himself. It only made sense when he was over here almost more than at his own flat. Right then and there Bodie started to unbutton his dress shirt. To Ray it was a sign of exactly how comfortable Bodie was around him. Bodie was naturally reserved. He was comfortable in a black poloneck, rather than the unbuttoned shirts Ray favoured. Ray just chalked it up to one of Bodie's quirks. Now Ray didn't bother hiding his open admiration of Bodie's pale, handsome chest. Bodie all but preened under the attention. Vanity was another of his quirks.

"Oi, don't throw that out," Ray chastised Bodie when he saw the other man tossing it into the rubbish bin. "I can make some rags out of it or wear it painting."

Bodie rolled his eyes. "You should use some of your own threadbare monstrosities."

Ray plucked Bodie’s shirt out of the rubbish bin and tossed it into the nearby sink. "Maybe the white one I wore on Sunday?" The t-shirt was so threadbare you could virtually see through it. Ray knew Bodie liked it and it was one of the reasons he wore it.

Bodie gave him a sideways glance. "Maybe not that one."

Ray leaned against the counter, cocking hips just right. "You want Indian or Chinese takeaway?"

Bodie made a noncommittal sound. He still looked hungry, but not for food anymore. "So, about me getting a leg over..."

"You always were a charmer," Ray groaned with a shake of his head.

"C'mon, Ray..." He waved a hand at his bare torso. "I'm already half way there."

Ray plugged up the sink and turned on the cold water, adding a little washing-up liquid. "If you want convenience, you should get a wife."

"Never had use for a wife, Ray... even the idea of one."

"See now, I had use of the idea, just the real thing always seemed a nuisance. I'm surprised you come around here, mate. Thought you’d be callin’ up that bird... what's her name?"

Bodie made a distasteful face. "Doesn’t matter."

"You were gettin' very cozy with her lately."

"Problem is she was gettin' too cozy. Raver in the sack, but I was starting to see that look in her eyes."

"Oh, you mean that one where she wants to be Mrs. William Andrew Phillip Bodie?"

"Yeah, that one. Time to move on."

Ray wiped his wet palms on the front of his jeans. "Y’know, that Ross was askin' about you in my psych evaluation last week? Happened to be about this same damn thing."

Bodie moved in closer and his hand settled on Ray's slim hip. He wasn’t surprised that Dr. Ross asked Ray about him. After all, she asked him about Ray. "And what did you tell her?"

"That it’s in any woman’s best interest that you have the interest of a gnat. That you'd be hazardous to the health of any woman stupid enough to take you on."

"Sounds about right.” Bodie smirked and moved even closer to his partner. “Though... am I hazardous to your health?"

“Was there any doubt?”

"And here I thought I was your knight in shining armour. You should have told Ross that." Bodie smirked at Ray and reached out to undo another button on Ray's shirt. "I bet she'd have a whole lot to say about that. That'd get her knickers in a real twist."

“If she wore any. “ Ray's tone was mockingly serious. "But, we do have a very unhealthy attachment to one another."

"Oh, very." Bodie nodded in agreement, his brow drew together as if he was contemplating the second coming of Christ. "I can barely let you out of my sight. Unhealthy… sinful… wicked. Take your pick. But I suffer because I can't leave you alone without fear of you shooting yourself in the foot." At the last comment, Bodie gave his partner a full blown Bodie grin.

"Damnit," Ray sighed and shook his head. It had been a close call, but still Bodie teased him about it. If they didn’t, then the stress would drive them around the bend. "I told you it was the perp. And it didn't get me... just nicked me."

"And I'm glad it only nicked you." Bodie tapped Ray's boot with his own shoe. "I'm rather fond of your big toe."

Ray glared at Bodie, but it didn't have any real bite behind it. "And here I thought you would've been fond of your own toe since you're always stickin' your foot in your mouth."

"I'm fond of every part of me..." Bodie snuck a hand into Ray's open shirt and tugged gently on the gold necklace he found there. "Fond of every part of you too, mate."

"Not very subtle, Bodie..."

"I've never needed subtle with you. We both know what we want." Bodie leaned even closer until his lips were brushing against Ray's ear. "And what I want right now is..."

Ray knew exactly what Bodie wanted and he wanted it as much as his partner did, but tonight he felt like drawing it out a bit. His own hand came out and settled on the nape of Bodie's neck. "What about takeaway?"

Bodie tried to nip at Ray's ear, but Ray knew how he operated and moved his head slightly. Bodie groaned with frustration, "Later..."

"And what about our discussion..."

This time Bodie zeroed in on Ray's neck and managed to nip at the sensitive flesh, causing Ray to give a satisfying huff. Bodie then licked a line straight up Ray’s neck. "Later..."

"May never get a second chance in our line of work."

Bodie wasn't pleased with all of this talking. But he had learned early on that Ray was a talker. In fact, one of his favourite things in the world was figuring out ways to shut him up. "Don't believe in second chances. Don’t believe in anything but right now."

“You’re gettin’ all sentimental on me, Bodie,” Ray chuckled and ruffled Bodie’s hair because he knew it would rile him up.

Bodie immediately smoothed back his hair. “I’ll quote goddamn poetry at you if it’ll shut you up.”

“Do you even know any poetry?”

“Ray…” Bodie complained and dropped his head down onto Ray’s shoulder. “Are you trying to drive me to some bird?”

Ray’s tone was a little more serious now. “Maybe I am…”

“Not going to work.” Bodie grumbled and bit at Ray’s shoulder through the shirt. “I’m used to you now. And don’t feel like being around anyone else after tonight.”

“You sayin’ I’m easy?”

“No, I’m sayin’ you’re …” Bodie didn’t finish because his voice was a mixture of irritation and vulnerability. Because there was no way to describe what Ray was to him, especially to the man himself. That fear that he always tried to push down bubbled up. The fear that the closer he got to Ray, the more he needed Ray, that it would prove to be his downfall.

Because the truth was, the man he was today was not the man he was before he met Ray. And the man he was today couldn’t comprehend life without his partner. His partner was about protection, safety, comfort, joy and so much more.

Bodie never found the words. Instead he kissed Ray with passion and desperation. Ray kissed him back with equal passion, answering every unasked plea. And Bodie knew that what made a man was not only his past, but what others important to you thought you could be. Ray was Bodie’s humanity.

So, Bodie was a stone cold killer, but more importantly, he was Ray Doyle’s partner. And that tie would keep Bodie from losing himself in the shame of the sins and misery of his past.

END.


End file.
